Ep. 168: You've Been Bad, Babygirl: Secrets, Submission & Sexual Liberation

She is powerful, successful, married to a handsome and accomplished man, and adored by her kids. But behind the closed doors of this seemingly perfect life, she is faking more than her orgasms — she is faking her entire self. Inspired by the bold and erotic themes of Babygirl, this episode dives into hidden truths, forbidden desires, and the masks we all wear.

We are exploring the dangerously thrilling, the unapologetically erotic, and the shocking truth about the orgasm gap. Why do so many women suppress their needs? What happens when your inner beast demands to be set free? And how does pretending rob us of true intimacy and connection?

This isn’t just about the movie — it is about your life. Are you ready to confront the lies we tell ourselves, unleash your deepest desires, and transform the way you connect with yourself and your partner? Click to hear this riveting episode.

Limited Edition Valentine's Day Box:
https://shop.bawamedical.com/products/valentines-day-box-limited-edition

To schedule a virtual or in-office consultation with Dr. Bawa: https://www.bawamedical.com/contact/

To learn more about Dr. Sex Fairy supplements:
https://shop.bawamedical.com/collections/supplements

To watch Dr. Sex Fairy in video format: https://www.youtube.com/@drsexfairy

To learn more about sexual wellness: https://www.bawamedical.com/sexual-health/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drsexfairy

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealdrsexfairy/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doctorsexfairy

Transcript

You’ve Been Bad, Babygirl: Secrets, Submission, and Sexual Liberation

Welcome to America’s top sexuality podcast, Dr. Sex Fairy. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America’s favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life.

Today’s episode is inspired by the provocative and unforgettable movie Babygirl, but let me be clear—this is not a movie review. This is about you. The themes we are discussing today are universal, deeply human, and intensely relatable. But first, subscribe to the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or any podcast app to allow me the chance to guide your partner and you to a level of function and pleasure that you never thought possible. Follow me on Instagram at @therealdrsexfairy, TikTok and X @drsexfairy, and YouTube at Dr. Sex Fairy. Visit drsexfairy.com to schedule your virtual or in-office consultation or coaching session. 

Valentine's Day is just over 2 weeks away and you should order the very first and limited-edition Dr. Sex Fairy Valentine’s Day Box. It has an external vibrator for her, a penis ring with a 10 frequency vibrator for him, a 90 day supply of my US-made and pharmaceutical grade Dr. Sex Fairy nitric oxide booster Enhance, a sexy dice game, a feather, a silky blindfold that you can also use around the wrists for some 50 Shades of Grey action, a soy aromatherapy candle, a box of mints, a discount voucher for a treatment and I will even autograph it for you. As you can see, I have thought of a way to stimulate all your senses. Forget roses this Valentine’s Day. Get my special Valentine’s Day Box to use for many days and nights of pleasure and play.

Coming back to our topic today, whether or not you’ve seen Babygirl, you’ll walk away from this episode with profound insights about your own relationships, the desires you hide deep within yourself, and the price we all pay for hidden truths.

Have you ever felt like you were living behind a mask, hiding parts of yourself that you are too afraid to reveal? Have you ever been in a relationship where you couldn’t express your true desires? Have you wondered why your partner seems somewhat distant? Or maybe you’ve wondered why you feel drawn to things that seem forbidden, thrilling, or even dangerous.

In Babygirl, these struggles are brought to life through the story of a powerful woman who appears to have it all: a successful career as a CEO, a handsome and supportive husband, two loving children, and a seemingly perfect life. And still, beneath the surface, she’s deeply unfulfilled. She is suppressing a part of herself that longs to be set free.

The truth is, this story isn’t just hers. It is the story of anyone who has ever pretended to be something they’re not, denied their own needs, or felt trapped by the roles society expects them to play. Her inner beast may well be different than yours but the idea of pretending to be someone different than who we really are is universal. So, let’s dive in and explore what Babygirl can teach us about love, desire, vulnerability, sexual liberation and living authentically.

At the heart of Babygirl is Nicole Kidman’s character, a woman who seems to have it all. Her husband is played by Antonio Banderas, who is one of the most handsome men in the world. He plays a successful director, a considerate partner, and a loving father to their two children. Their family exudes the kind of picture-perfect happiness that many of us aspire to. This dynamic is something many can relate to. How often do we look at someone else’s life and think that they have it all? How often do we present a facade of happiness to the world while suppressing our own dissatisfaction?

One of the most striking aspects of Babygirl is how sex becomes a metaphor for life itself. The movie begins with Nicole Kidman’s character having sex with her husband. You find out quickly that she is faking it. Her orgasms are high-pitched and dramatic, designed to convince her husband that she’s satisfied. Despite having a husband who is attentive, sexual, and supportive, she feels unfulfilled. 

Beneath the surface, she is hiding a darker side of herself—one that she is too afraid to explore and expose. She alludes to wanting more aggressive sex, but he feels uncomfortable doing things that way. She doesn’t tell him clearly that she needs that to really get into it, and to orgasm. While she loves him, she lashes out at him at one point and tells him that she has never orgasmed with him. She is angry and frustrated, but you can’t blame the poor man if she is faking orgasms. Honesty is a critical component of good sex.

Let's discuss one of the central themes of Babygirl, the idea of the “beast within,” next. Nicole Kidman’s character has spent years suppressing her darker desires, trying to fit into the mold of a perfect wife, mother, and professional. But as the writer and director Halina Reijn points out, “It's a cautionary tale of what will happen when you suppress your beast.”

This beast represents the parts of ourselves that we’re often afraid to acknowledge even to ourselves—the fantasies, the desires, and the vulnerabilities that make us human. Suppressing these parts doesn’t make them go away. It only makes them more insistent, more desperate to be expressed.

In a pivotal scene, her younger lover who is her intern nonchalantly tames an aggressive dog by giving it a cookie. When she asks him how he did it, he simply says, “I gave it a cookie,” and then, in a suggestive tone, asks if she wants one too.

This moment is deeply symbolic. He sees the beast within her—the part of her that she’s been hiding—and he isn’t afraid of it. In fact, he welcomes it. For the first time, she meets someone who invites her to explore her secret desires.

This dynamic takes a darker turn in some of the movie’s most controversial scenes. In one, she’s on all fours, eating a piece of candy from her lover’s hand like a pet. In another, she slurps milk from a saucer on the ground. 

These moments are unsettling to me personally because I see them stripping her of her dignity and reducing her to being less than human, but for others, they might represent a kind of liberation. We can have different opinions because there is no black and white in situations like this. Kink and fetish are an important part of many people’s sexuality, and you see that in the scenes where she fully lets go of control and surrender to her desires. We don’t have to agree with the method to agree with the concept.

These scenes force us to confront our own boundaries and beliefs about submission. What does it mean to let go? When does submission become degradation? And how do we reconcile our fantasies with our dignity? I cannot and will not answer these questions for you because the answers are deeply personal to you. You have to answer these questions for yourself, and this will be the start of a deeper level of authenticity in your own life.

Nicole Kidman’s character is a powerful woman—a successful CEO who commands respect in her career. And yet, in her personal life, she longs to let go of control. Her husband isn’t subservient or weak, and provides her with a sense of safety and stability. This dynamic challenges the stereotype that powerful women want to dominate their partners, and that the significant other of a strong woman is a wimp. In reality, many powerful women crave the freedom to be vulnerable in their personal lives. They don't necessarily want to wear the pants at home.

It does not have to be as extreme as what we see here but for some women who are used to making all the decisions, stepping into a more passive role can be a form of release. It is not about weakness; it is about balance. And for Nicole Kidman’s character, this balance is something she’s been craving for years.

One of the main themes in Babygirl is a powerful lesson about the cost of pretending. For nearly two decades, Nicole Kidman’s character faked her orgasms, convinced that her husband wouldn’t understand her needs. But, in doing so, she robbed both herself and her husband of the chance to truly connect. She harbored resentment towards him for no fault of his. How often do we hide our true selves, fearing rejection or judgment, only to create distance in our relationships?

The orgasm gap here and elsewhere is a symptom of a larger problem: a lack of honest communication. It’s not just about sex—it’s about the conversations we’re too afraid to have, the truths we’re too afraid to share, the reality we are often too embarrassed to admit even to ourselves. 

At the same time, even the healthiest of relationships and the most honest partners suffer from sexual dysfunction due to physical reasons. Whether it is the orgasm gap or disappointing erectile function, there is no reason to suffer in silence. Be honest with your partner and yourself, and call my office to schedule a virtual or in-office coaching call or consultation. You see, I have taken sexual performance and pleasure to a whole new level at my Boca Raton, Florida practice Bawa Medical. 

While your brain is your most important sexual organ, I can definitely make your penis or vagina work like you didn't think possible. 

So, take function out of the equation because you know I can help you with it. Make sure you call my office at 561-453-2020 or 1-877-DRSEXFAIRY and fill out the contact form at drsexfairy.com. It doesn't matter where you are in the world. We can still connect over the phone or Zoom. You can also sign up for my incredible new newsletter that comes to you completely free of charge, and is full of tips, tricks and transformation. My US-made and pharmaceutical Dr. Sex Fairy supplements can be shipped to your doorstep no matter where you are. And don’t forget to order the Dr. Sex Fairy Valentine’s Day box by clicking the link in the podcast description.

Next let’s talk about another reason why this movie should this matter to you. Babygirl is more than a movie—it is a mirror. It forces us to confront the parts of ourselves that we’ve been hiding, the conversations we’ve been avoiding, and the desires we’ve been suppressing.

Know this: intimacy begins with honesty. If you’ve been pretending, it’s time to stop. If you’ve been silent, it’s time to speak up. And if you’ve been hiding, it’s time to step into the light. True connection requires courage. It’s messy, vulnerable, and sometimes uncomfortable, but it’s so worth it. Whether it’s about bridging the orgasm gap, exploring new dynamics with your partner, or breaking free from the weight of secrets, the first step is always honesty—with those you love and with yourself.

At the beginning of this episode I mentioned that Nicole Kidman’s character starts out with a dramatic but fake orgasm. But by the end, not only is her marriage saved, her husband accepts her fully - beast, infidelity and all. Her orgasm with him is now raw, guttural, and very real. This orgasm represents more than physical pleasure—it symbolizes her transformation into an authentic, unapologetic version of herself. At work she is more in control and confident than she has ever been.

This progression is a reminder that how we show up in intimacy reflects how we show up in life. Are we real, vulnerable, and honest? Or are we performing, playing a role that doesn’t truly reflect who we are? When she finally allows herself to feel, to let go, and to be seen, she discovers a freedom that had been missing for years. It is a powerful reminder that true connection—whether with a partner or with ourselves—begins with authenticity.

At the heart of every relationship lies the need for truth. Pretending may feel easier, but it denies us the depth, connection and pleasure we crave and deserve. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is the birthplace of love, trust, and intimacy. If we dare to face our truths and share them, we open ourselves to a life richer than we ever imagined.

Until next time.