Ep. 134: How a 6-Second Kiss & 20-Second Hug Can Transform Your Life

In this transformative episode of Dr. Sex Fairy, we delve into the surprisingly powerful effects of the 6-second kiss and the 20-second hug on your relationships and overall well-being. This idea is based on research by Dr. John Gottman, and with International Kissing Day on July 6th around the corner, let's make your hugs and kisses count. Discover how these simple yet profound acts of intimacy can strengthen your emotional bonds, reduce stress, and bring more joy into your daily life. It's not just about romance; these techniques can enhance your connections with family and friends too. 

We explore the science behind these small gestures and share practical tips for incorporating them into your routine. Hear about how hugs from one special person helped make me the person I am today.

Whether you are looking to reignite the spark in your relationship or enhance your connection with family and friends, this episode is packed with valuable insights and actionable advice. Tune in and learn how a few seconds can make a lifetime of difference. And don't forget to post your experience on social media and use the hashtag #drsexfairykisschallenge so that I can see them. XO

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Transcript

How a 6-Second Kiss & 20-Second Hug Can Transform Your Life

Welcome to America's top sexuality podcast, Dr. Sex Fairy. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America's favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast and leave a review no matter where you are listening or watching. I read all your reviews, comments, and emails, and they help me bring you relevant content every single week. Today, we are diving into the world of the 6-second kiss and the 20-second hug. A kiss that last only 6 seconds doesn't seem very long, does it? And what about the 20 second hug? That's barely even a hug. Why then am I talking about them?

First things first, let’s talk about the science behind the 6-second kiss. It’s not just about mashing lips together for a bit longer than usual. No, my dear listeners, it’s about creating a mini oasis of romance and connection in the middle of our busy lives. According to Dr. John Gottman, who has studied love and marriage for decades, transitional moments – greetings, goodbyes, and The moments when you reunite after– are crucial. They set the tone for the time you spend together and the time you spend apart.

Imagine this: you’ve had a long, exhausting day at work. You walk through the door, and instead of a distracted grunt you get a warm, lingering kiss from your partner. It is long enough to feel romantic but short enough to not disrupt the flow of your evening. This 6-second kiss releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” making you feel more connected and loved.

But why stop at kissing? Let’s talk about the 20-second hug. According to a study published in the journal *Comprehensive Psychology*, hugging for 20 seconds releases oxytocin, reduces stress, and can even lower blood pressure. It’s like a natural chill pill that’s way more enjoyable than any tablet you’d pop, but no, I am not telling you to replace your blood pressure medicine with hugs.

I recently heard about the Cuddle Party movement. I guess I have been living under a rock. These events, which started in New York City and have spread worldwide, are gatherings where people come together to hug, cuddle, and connect platonically. I'll bet that the 20-second hug is a staple there!. Cuddle Party is a reminder that physical touch isn’t just for romantic relationships; it is a basic human need.

Crazy as it sounds, it can be awkward to increase non-sexual touching with your partner out of the blue. Your partner may look at you suspiciously and wonder if you've gone crazy or even that you might be cheating on them. Starting new rituals can feel a bit strange at first, but the key is to communicate with your partner. Let them know why you want to try these new practices. Share the science, the benefits, and make the 6-second kiss and the 20-second hug a fun experiment to try together. Make it a joint adventure!

Here’s a little challenge for you: try incorporating the 6-second kiss and the 20-second hug into your daily routine for a week. Start with your morning goodbye – instead of a quick peck, share a 6-second kiss. When you reunite in the evening, give each other a 20-second hug. It might feel a bit weird at first, but let yourself relax into it. Notice how it feels to be fully present with your partner in these moments.

Keep a journal, even if it’s just a little note on your phone, of how these practices affect your mood, stress levels, and overall connection with your partner. You might be surprised at how such simple acts can create a ripple effect in your relationship.

Do you remember the legendary kiss between Britney Spears and Madonna at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards? That kiss was all about making a statement, but it showed the power of a kiss to create a moment that people will talk about for years.

Speaking of memorable moments, let’s not overlook the importance of a good goodbye kiss. According to a study by the American Institute of Stress, starting the day with a positive interaction, like a loving kiss, can significantly reduce stress levels throughout the day. So, before you dash off to work, take a moment to connect with your partner. It’s a small act with a big payoff.

Now let’s dive into some kissing trivia. Did you know that the longest kiss on record lasted over 58 hours? That’s right! In 2013, a Thai couple locked lips for a whopping 58 hours, 35 minutes, and 58 seconds, setting a new Guinness World Record. I don’t recommend trying to break or even match this record at home. All I'm saying is try 6 seconds.

And for our travel enthusiasts, let’s take a romantic detour to the Pont des Arts in Paris. This bridge was once famous for the thousands of love locks attached to its railings by couples from around the world. Though the locks have been removed for safety reasons, the tradition of kissing on the bridge remains. It is a reminder that romance can be found in the simplest of gestures, no matter where you are in the world.

Now, let’s get back to the topic of hugs. Why 20 seconds, you ask. Well, according to the research, 20 seconds is long enough to trigger the release of oxytocin. It is the sweet spot for creating a sense of connection and reducing stress. Imagine the impact of incorporating this simple act into your daily routine. It’s like giving your relationship a little boost of love every day.

But what if you’re single? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered too. The benefits of hugging aren’t limited to romantic relationships. Hugs from friends, family, or even a pet can have similar effects. So, next time you see your best friend, give them a long, warm hug. It’s a great way to show appreciation and strengthen your bond.

And let’s not forget the impact of these practices on families. Parents, this one’s for you. Sharing a 20-second hug with your kids can create a sense of security and love that lasts a lifetime. It’s a simple way to show them that they’re valued and cherished. Plus, it’s a great habit to model for them as they grow up and form their own relationships. My father passed away almost 10 years ago but his legendary bear hugs are alive and well in my heart. So much of what I have achieved in life and who I have become as a person comes from the feeling of love and security he instilled in me, and those hugs were the best. If only the rest of the world hugged like him.

Come to think of it, have you heard of the Free Hugs Campaign? It started in 2004 in Sydney, Australia, a city I love, by a gentleman called Juan Mann as a way to bring people together and spread kindness. The movement quickly went viral, with people around the world holding up “Free Hugs” signs and offering embraces to strangers. It is a beautiful example of how powerful a hug can be, even between people who have just met.

And speaking of spreading the love, let’s talk about how these simple practices can strengthen not just romantic relationships, but all kinds of connections. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or even a colleague, taking a moment to share a meaningful touch can build trust and foster a sense of belonging. It’s about being present and showing that you care. My dad and I are a perfect example of the enduring power of a hug.

Now, let's dive a bit deeper into the fascinating effects of kissing on the brain. When you kiss someone, it is not just your lips that are involved; your entire brain gets in on the action. Kissing activates the brain's pleasure centers, releasing a cocktail of chemicals that make you feel oh-so-good. One of the key players here is dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. It is the same chemical that gets released when you eat your favorite food or win a game. So, when you share a passionate kiss, your brain is basically saying, "This is fantastic! Let's do more of this!"

But that's not all. Kissing also releases oxytocin, which we have already mentioned as the "love hormone." Oxytocin is crucial for bonding and attachment. It promotes feelings of contentment, reduces anxiety, and even makes you feel more connected to the person you are kissing. This is why a simple kiss can help strengthen your relationship over time.

Additionally, kissing can lower cortisol levels, which are associated with stress. A study from the University of Arizona found that couples who kiss frequently reported lower stress and higher relationship satisfaction. So, not only does kissing make you feel good in the moment, it also helps you manage stress better in the long run.

Plus, the increased blood flow from a passionate kiss can give your skin a healthy glow. Who knew that something so enjoyable could be good for your complexion? Kissing also has immune-boosting benefits. When you kiss, you exchange saliva with your partner, which introduces new bacteria into your system. This might sound a bit gross, but it is actually a good thing. Your immune system gets a workout by being exposed to these new bacteria, making it stronger in the process. It's like a natural vaccine, minus the needle.

And let's not forget the dental benefits. The increased saliva production during kissing helps to wash away food particles and bacteria, reducing the risk of cavities and gum disease. So, kissing not only keeps your love life healthy but also your teeth!

Do you remember the epic kiss between Jack and Rose in "Titanic"? That kiss on the bow of the ship has become one of the most iconic kisses in film history. Then there's the kiss in "The Notebook" between Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. The rain-soaked kiss has been replicated by countless couples, trying to capture that same intensity and passion. It's a reminder that sometimes, the best kisses are the ones that take you by surprise.

In some cultures, kissing is a common way to greet friends and family. For example, in many European countries, it is customary to kiss on both cheeks as a form of greeting. It is a way of showing respect and affection, even in non-romantic relationships.

In contrast, some cultures view kissing as a more private act, reserved for intimate relationships. For instance, in parts of Asia, public displays of affection, including kissing, are often considered inappropriate. Understanding these cultural differences can help us appreciate the diverse ways people express love and affection around the world.

So, my dear tribe, I challenge you to embrace the 6-second kiss and the 20-second hug. Try it out, see how it feels, and let me know your experiences. Share your stories with me on social media using the hashtag #DrSexFairyKissChallenge. I can’t wait to hear how these simple acts of love transform your relationships.

Don’t forget to subscribe and leave the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast and me a review. Share this episode with your partner, family and friends whether you are watching it on YouTube, or listening on one of many podcast apps like Apple Podcasts or Spotify. To learn more about my groundbreaking work at Bawa Medical go to drsexfairy.com. There are several ways to reach me and purchase my US-made and pharmaceutical grade Dr. Sex Fairy supplements in the podcast description below. You can always call me at 1-877-DRSEXFAIRY.

Thank you for joining me on this delightful journey into the world of hugs and kisses. Remember, it’s the little things that make love last. Keep your hugs tight, and your kisses lingering. Until next time.