Ep. 94 - Tighter Wetter Vaginas (Revisited)
Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast
Host: Dr. Kanwal Bawa | Guest: Janine Stella | Runtime: 25:54 | Published: April 11, 2023
[00:10] Tighter Wetter Vaginas (Revisited)
Dr. Bawa: Welcome to America's number one sex podcast, Dr. Sex Fairy. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America's favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life. As we approach our 100th episode, we are revisiting some of our past episodes. Last week, our episode was Bigger, Harder, Longer, and as you can imagine, it was all about making dreams come true for both men and their partners. Today's episode is the yin to that yang. We are talking about tighter, wetter vaginas, and this is an episode everyone needs to hear. There is a lot to learn if you have a vagina or if you want to be inside one more often.
[01:08] Why Vaginal Rejuvenation Matters
Today we are talking about tighter, wetter vaginas. Gentlemen, you need to hear this one. It will help you understand your partner and perhaps even teach her a trick or two. Ladies, you need to hear this episode because I am about to tell you about all the amazing things I can do to your vagina to make it sing. As women get older and go through childbirth, menopause, cancer, and so many other issues, the poor vagina takes quite a beating.
I have devoted my career to bringing a level of sexual and intimate wellness to men and women around the world that is surprising to many. I have brought together under one roof technology that can do more nonsurgically than many procedures that involve cutting. I believe it is the way of the future. We really should not be causing damage in the pursuit of rejuvenation. I am joined by Janine Stella, host of the Skulls and Stilettos podcast. Janine loves sex, and she also loves talking about it. So here she is. Welcome, Janine.
Janine Stella: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Dr. Bawa: I am excited to have you here and launch into this great discussion. I know you have questions. I have answers.
[02:16] The Most Common Problems Women Experience
Janine Stella: What are the main problems that you think women suffer from?
Dr. Bawa: That's a difficult question to answer. But if I had to give you the top things that I think women suffer from, then I would say, in no particular order, vaginal laxity or a loose vagina; incontinence or urinary leakage; dryness, vaginal and mucosal; the whole issue of the vagina not looking as good as it used to, or the labia anyway; and last but not least, orgasms.
Janine Stella: And as far as women are concerned, how can a woman actually tighten her vagina?
[03:01] Ways to Tighten the Vagina
Dr. Bawa: Well, the options now are amazing because I can do a host of different things in my office. For instance, I can do radiofrequency, CO2 lasers, and pelvic floor therapy, but not just Kegels. I have a device that can actually help do Kegels within a woman's vaginal canal. That's a whole other discussion. And then, of course, I have the ability to do radiofrequency microneedling in the vaginal canal as well. So there is a lot I can do.
Janine Stella: And if I'm in the mood but I'm dry, what are my options?
Dr. Bawa: Well, if you are in the mood but you're dry, the bigger question is: Why are you dry? Is it a hormonal problem? Is your estrogen low? Have you gone through menopause? Have you gone through childbirth recently? Hormonal fluctuations will do that. Have you gone through cancer and chemotherapy? That will do that. There are lots of reasons why you might be dry. But let's assume you don't have those problems and you're dry. Then I think lubricant is a very important thing to have on hand.
[04:07] How to Recognize Urinary Incontinence
Janine Stella: And you mentioned incontinence. How do I know if I actually have it?
Dr. Bawa: Do you know that most of the women who come to my office deny having incontinence? Yet statistically, more have it than not. Women think that incontinence is when you're literally in Depends diapers. But why do you want to get that far? I often ask them: Do you dribble when you sneeze? Do you dribble when you cough? Certainly when you jump on a trampoline, although most of us aren't jumping on trampolines. But when everyday life is making things harder, then you need to do something about it.
Incontinence can be a range. It could be a little bit of dribbling. It could be that you're worried about going to the gym and wearing leggings, or worried about staining your pants. It can be very embarrassing for women. It can really hinder their quality of life.
Janine Stella: I agree with that. Absolutely. I've been there. And do Kegels actually help with that?
[05:04] The Smart Woman's Kegel
Dr. Bawa: They can, but the problem is that most women are unable to do Kegels correctly because you need a great deal of intensity behind those Kegels. I've always said this: You can keep Kegeling all day long at red lights, like everybody tells you to do, but you're not going to get enough oomph behind that Kegel. Now I have a device in my office that will literally Kegel for you. It's a probe. You just insert it in the vagina. It's very comfortable. It's not painful at all.
I say that it is the smart woman's Kegel, because why would you work hard when you can work smart? No matter how hard you Kegel, you cannot match that intensity. Here, we can dial it up based on how much you can tolerate, and over time you can probably go higher and higher. The way you can contract that muscle is going to be so much more effective than just trying your luck at red lights.
Janine Stella: And as far as the treatments that can make the outside of the vagina look better, what does that entail?
[06:10] PRF, Fillers, and Labial Rejuvenation
Dr. Bawa: There are, again, a few different options. For instance, I use platelet-rich fibrin to build more collagen in the labia. As you get older, your face starts to sag. Your arms aren't as tight as they were. Why should your vagina be any different, or your labia be any different? Skin is skin, no matter where it is, so you will see damage happening. I do a blood draw from your arm, spin it down into platelet-rich plasma, and then I make it stronger and convert it into a fibrin matrix. That basically means it is more gel-like, so it stays in the area longer, has more concentrated growth factors, and develops collagen. That helps thicken your skin naturally, so your labia looks better and is healthier.
Then I can also do fillers, which provide more instant gratification. Sometimes that's not a bad thing. PRP and PRF can build your collagen long-term, but Rome wasn't built in a day. You want to look good now, so fillers can help bridge that gap for the time being.
[07:20] Why Dr. Bawa Avoids Surgical Labiaplasty
I also have a device in my practice now that is truly a game changer. I have refused to do labiaplasties my whole career, and labiaplasty is one of the most popular plastic surgery procedures out there today. I refuse to do it because I have that pesky little thing called integrity, and I really don't like doing things to women that can cause damage, even potentially. I have seen what it has done to women when the wrong nerve has been cut.
Think about it. When you're cutting, you're going to cut nerves. It doesn't matter how you slice and dice it. It's invasive, so you are going to be cutting nerves. Period. End of story. Which nerves you cut becomes the issue. I've had women come to my office devastated because they had labiaplasty and lost sexual sensation. What the hell is the point of a labiaplasty if now, suddenly, you're not enjoying sex?
Janine Stella: That's awful.
[08:15] Nonsurgical Labiaplasty and Radiofrequency
Dr. Bawa: It's awful, and they are traumatized by it. They have come to me and said, "Dr. Bawa, what can you do for me?" Often, the answer is not a whole lot. I can inject some PRF or PRP to increase collagen formation. It does help regenerate things, but can I really reverse that damage? Not really. So I don't like to do that.
But now I can do nonsurgical labiaplasty. I can tighten, bring volume, and make things pretty, and it is natural. There is no filler involved. This is truly amazing rejuvenation. The other thing you can do is radiofrequency. We take a probe and externally rub it over the labia majora and minora. Basically, inside the big lips, that entire area can be rejuvenated. No numbing is required and there is no pain whatsoever. It is completely comfortable. It is almost like getting a vaginal massage.
Janine Stella: How long does that treatment process take?
Dr. Bawa: Five minutes.
Janine Stella: Are you serious?
[09:22] Treatment Time and Customized Technology
Dr. Bawa: Yes. Five minutes internally, five minutes externally, and then five more minutes internally. With radiofrequency, just for that part of it, it's very simple. For the external appearance, I can also do a CO2 laser to resurface. The options are really endless. What I do in my practice is base the treatment on the particular needs of the patient. I have all this technology available. You should see the range of lasers I have. I can do all of these things, but not everybody is a candidate for them. What I do depends on a consultation, the patient's goals, her needs, and all of that.
Janine Stella: And how can women become more orgasmic? I mean, can they?
[10:10] Knowing Your Anatomy and Taking Responsibility for Pleasure
Dr. Bawa: Absolutely. We can do so much now to make women more orgasmic. Really, the sky's the limit. The first thing a woman has to do is know her own anatomy. Not the kind of anatomical knowledge I have as a doctor, but at least know what your parts are. Know where your clitoris is. Know that there is a hood over it. Know what your labia are. Know that where the penis actually goes in is not where you pee from. Basic things. Know that. Touch yourself occasionally. Figure out what your parts feel like to you. Maybe if you know what they feel like, you'll know how to help your partner make them feel better.
Janine Stella: That's communication. Communication.
Dr. Bawa: But you've got to take responsibility for your own pleasure. It starts with you. I would like to think that most men want their partner to be pleased. They want her to be happy. Faking it is not going to help you make it. Stop faking.
Janine Stella: That is such an interesting point because so many women, myself included, have actually faked it because you want the other person to feel that they pleased you and satisfied you. But it is really only doing a disservice to you as a woman by not achieving orgasm.
[11:29] Why Faking Orgasms Hurts Both Partners
Dr. Bawa: Yes, and you're doing him a disservice too, because I think he deserves better. Telling him that he's doing a great job when he's not, and not giving him good guidance, is doing him a disservice. It is certainly doing yourself a disservice because he is going to keep doing more of what doesn't work. Who is that helping? No one.
I have had couples come to my office when she just can't take it anymore. She is not orgasmic. They have been in a relationship for 20 years, and she spent 20 years faking it. When she tells her husband, he is devastated because he thinks their entire relationship is a lie, because she has been lying all these years about it.
Janine Stella: That is an awakening, I'm sure. And what a devastating conversation for a man to hear.
[12:16] Honesty and the Chance to Rebuild
Dr. Bawa: Yes, and I've been part of that conversation many times, far too many times. It's awful. I feel bad for the men and I feel bad for the women, because the men have only now realized that their entire sexual relationship has been a sham all these years. The women have not been having pleasure, so they have been shortchanged as well. Everybody is upset. Everybody is devastated. But at least, if that relationship can be salvaged, now there is the chance of pleasure in the future.
I tell people: Be honest with each other, because if you're not honest with each other, nothing and no one can help you.
Janine Stella: It's almost like an intervention. I mean, sex is such an important component of a relationship.
[13:11] Physical and Emotional Connection
Dr. Bawa: Yes. I feel that it is better to have me involved than to have this relationship go to hell, because a lot of these relationships are ending in breakups and divorces because people aren't satisfied. Then they are not connected emotionally because they're not connecting physically. It's a catch-22 situation. Emotional and sexual connection are equally important.
What separates us from our other relationships in life, our best friends and relatives and all of that, is the fact that you have a sexual relationship with your partner. If that's not working, other things aren't going to work as well either.
Janine Stella: That is so true. I think this is a fascinating conversation. For all the women and men listening, I think it is important to actually ask your partner, "Do I please you? Are we good in this area specifically?"
[14:07] How to Communicate What Feels Good
Dr. Bawa: Absolutely. Honesty is so underrated when it comes to sex. It also depends on how you phrase it to your partner. For instance, if he is rubbing over your clitoral hood furiously and it is irritating or painful, say something, and say it gently. Move his hand gently to another part of your anatomy. Or just tell him, "Honey, that's a little sensitive." Then you can say, "I like being touched this way." You don't have to say, "Well, you suck at it." You can phrase it nicely, and if you phrase it nicely, I can't imagine that most men would have a problem with it.
Janine Stella: It's an interesting point because women are more likely not to say anything. But if something is hurting a man, I feel like he is very honest about it: "This is too rough." Sometimes men can be a little more honest during sex than women, because maybe she is embarrassed to say something in the moment.
Dr. Bawa: Yes.
Janine Stella: Then, in turn, she won't orgasm because she feels awkward in the moment, and then she'll fake it.
[15:19] When Poor Communication Becomes Resentment
Dr. Bawa: And then she'll be passive-aggressive toward her partner because she thinks it is somehow his fault.
Janine Stella: Exactly.
Dr. Bawa: But it's not necessarily his fault. You didn't tell him.
Janine Stella: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Bawa: How is he supposed to know if you don't tell him and if you don't communicate?
Janine Stella: This has been such a great conversation, and I think there is much more to come on this subject. People really need to understand their bodies and know what they like. That's a key component: anatomy, knowing your own anatomy.
[15:46] Vaginal Health After Cancer and Chemotherapy
Dr. Bawa: Yes. This conversation is important for many reasons, including for cancer patients. Cancer and chemotherapy will truly mess up your vaginal tissue. Sex will hurt. Sex will not be as pleasurable as it was before. A host of different things can happen. Cancer patients need to know that there are treatments out there that are safe for them. A CO2 laser may not be the way for them because their tissue is too sensitive, but radiofrequency is a great option. The Kegel device I told you about is another great option.
After cancer and chemotherapy, the labia will shrivel up more. Nonsurgical labiaplasty is an excellent option because it rejuvenates. It is not just a cosmetic thing. It makes your labia look better, sure, but it also improves the labia tremendously.
Janine Stella: I did not know anything about that, and I didn't even think about it. I didn't know that having undergone radiation or chemotherapy affected women in the sexual aspect.
[16:59] BawaShots and Rejuvenation From the Inside Out
Dr. Bawa: Now add more complications to the mix, like menopause or perimenopause, childbirth, or all of these other issues. Now you're going to orgasm even less. I am doing BawaShots at my practice for men and women. I do them for both. I take that same PRF I mentioned and inject it into your tissue. For women, I inject it into the clitoris and the vagina. For men, I inject it right into the penis. That is truly rebuilding the tissue and rejuvenating it from the inside out.
For women, it also increases the size of the clitoris. Not to where it is a golf ball, but it makes it just a little bit bigger, because size matters for women too. The more area you have on the clitoris to stimulate, the more pleasurable it will be.
Janine Stella: I can't wait to get started.
Dr. Bawa: Let's make you an appointment.
[17:48] Tightening, Grip, Sensation, and Pleasure
Dr. Bawa: The other thing is that the CO2 laser, radiofrequency, and all of these devices are also going to tighten your vagina, which means you are going to grip the penis better. When you grip the penis and stretch for the penis instead of it just flopping around in there, you are going to feel more sensation, and so is he. It will be more pleasurable. That's a very important part of this.
Janine Stella: What if a woman is too tight?
[18:19] When the Vagina Is Too Tight
Dr. Bawa: We can dilate the vagina too. There is such a problem. It is called vaginismus. That's one of the situations where a vagina can be too tight, and we can dilate.
Janine Stella: Is that common?
Dr. Bawa: It's not as common as loose vaginas, but it's common enough.
Janine Stella: I've been told by sexual partners that I might be a little too tight.
Dr. Bawa: Are you having discomfort?
Janine Stella: Not with lubrication. Without lubrication, yes.
Dr. Bawa: Well, then we can always do an exam and see what you need. For most women, as long as they're lubricated, it's fine. If they are too tight, then we can dilate.
Janine Stella: I didn't even know that existed. Thank you.
Dr. Bawa: Yes, ma'am. We can tighten you. We can loosen you up. We can do it all.
Janine Stella: I love it. And as far as hopping around like a bunny, wanting to have sex all the time, I need that in my life. So how can we achieve that?
[19:17] Hormone Balance, Libido, and Vaginal Lubrication
Dr. Bawa: That's not that hard to achieve, actually, as long as your hormones are balanced and you have enough testosterone in your system. Remember, you as a woman are meant to have testosterone too, not just men. Men and women both have testosterone and estrogen, just in different quantities, but both are imperative to good function. Whether it is with a topical cream, shots, or whatever you need hormonally, I do it in my practice.
I don't even really call it hormone replacement. I call it hormone balancing, because I have a different point of view toward hormones: There has to be a balance. As long as I am balancing you, other things will improve too, not just the hormone level. Your libido, vaginal lubrication, and all of that improve.
[20:12] Supplements, Blood Flow, and Better Function
The other thing I like doing at my practice is supplements. I literally came up with my own supplement for libido for men and women, and that really makes a difference. It has been a game changer. Then there is a nitric oxide booster that I came out with. I have three supplements: a libido booster, a nitric oxide booster, and a testosterone booster. The nitric oxide booster, just like the libido booster, is for both sexes.
It helps you have more blood flow. You need blood flow to have a happy vagina, a wetter, tighter vagina, and you need blood flow to have good, hard erections. It helps both men and women in that sense. Then, of course, there is a testosterone booster. Whether it is for mental clarity, better erections, or good muscle mass, testosterone is important. These are all things that help you have not only better libido, but better function.
Janine Stella: What does someone need to do to find out about their hormonal balance? Is there a blood test for that, or what are some of the options?
[21:13] Blood Testing for Hormonal Balance
Dr. Bawa: It starts with a blood test. You can either go to your own doctor for that, or our listeners can always contact me through drsexfairy.com, and we can order those tests for them. It starts with checking not just your testosterone and your other estrogen-related hormones, but also thyroid and vitamin D levels. Those are very important hormones that are sometimes ignored by most providers.
Janine Stella: I didn't know that vitamin D levels affected sexual health.
Dr. Bawa: Oh yes, ma'am, they do.
Janine Stella: So, Dr. Bawa, if you were to give someone advice about the first step in being confident and having this conversation with you in your practice, what would you say to a woman who might be suffering from multiple things we've talked about today?
[22:04] Putting Your Own Oxygen Mask on First
Dr. Bawa: I would say, first and foremost, she has to admit that there is a problem. Secondly, she has to understand that she is worth it. As women, our instinct is to put ourselves at the back of the line, but that is not right. It is like when you're on a plane and they tell you, in case of an emergency, put on your mask first. This is no different.
Getting help for your vaginal and intimate health is going to improve not only your quality of life, but that of your partner, and ultimately you will have a happier family. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. It is selfless to take care of yourself. It is very important.
Janine Stella: That is so true. I didn't even think about it in those terms, but you have to put on your own oxygen mask first.
[22:57] Recognizing That Help Is Available
Dr. Bawa: Yes, and that's why conversations like this are so important. Hopefully, there is a man out there whose wife is not in her right space vaginally, and maybe now he has tools to help her. Maybe there is a woman out there who didn't realize that she really has a problem, and hearing our discussion today has made her aware: "Oh my goodness, I do have this. Oh my goodness, I do have that. There is help out there. Maybe I should do something once and for all." This is a great discussion for so many reasons.
Janine Stella: I completely agree with you.
Dr. Bawa: So, Janine, you have a podcast of your own. How can people find you?
[23:37] Where to Find Janine Stella
Janine Stella: You can go to Fight Mixer TV. I'm one of the hosts on Fight Mixer TV with the Skulls and Stilettos podcast. We are starting up a new season next month. We are on Roku and Apple TV. We do a little bit of video and audio, but we're primarily video-based. If you'd like to see some crazy people talking to professional MMA fighters, reach out to me. You can also reach me at skullsandstilettos21@gmail.com.
Dr. Bawa: Well, thank you. We should probably have an MMA fighter on my podcast. That would be fun.
Janine Stella: Their testosterone levels are through the roof.
Dr. Bawa: Talk about alpha men.
Janine Stella: Yes.
Dr. Bawa: We need some alphas on here. Absolutely. Well, thank you, Janine. Great conversation, as always.
[24:34] Final Thoughts and Call to Action
And to my listeners, the treatments I discussed today will not only make your body function better; they will transform your life. There is something to be said for jumping on a trampoline without leaking urine. There is something to be said for incredible orgasms and a satisfying sex life for both you and your partner, not to mention a better quality of life overall.
If you're a man wondering if your partner is a candidate for these treatments, or if you're a woman wondering if you can benefit from these treatments, don't wait. Contact me today. You can email me at askme@drsexfairy.com or learn more at drsexfairy.com. Remember, you have nothing to lose but more time. Until next time.
[25:24] Recorded Outro
Dr. Bawa: I hope you enjoyed the Dr. Sex Fairy podcast today. I would love to continue this conversation with you. If you would like to get in touch with me, email me at askme@drsexfairy.com. Don't forget to follow this podcast and leave me a five-star review. And make sure you follow my blockbuster-hit TikTok account, Dr. Sex Fairy.
